mental masturbation;

musings; scattered

2012-02-02T16:47:00.001Z

I was just thinking about how, in your life - unless you’ve lived in a hole the whole time - you must have accidentally touched or brushed up against or bumped into thousands of people, right? In crowds, in cramped buses/trains, at school, negotiating a busy street— fucking every time you’ve ever gone anywhere this is happening without you even realizing. So there could be people miles and miles away with one of your hairs on their clothes, or a slither of fabric fiber, a loose thread, a microscopic piece of skin, etc.

...I don’t know what the point of thinking/saying that is, but I just thought it was weird to think about; how there’s probably bits of you all over the place on strangers you’ve never met.

meme; 10 funny little things i love about spyro the dragon (the original game)

2011-05-30T02:34:00.007+01:00

1. The cacti that refuse to burn. When you flame them they'll turn black for about a second, but then shake themselves so they're green again. Those cacti don't take no shit, man.

2. The mooning guards in Peace Keepers. They don't even try to attack you, they just bop their bare bums in your face. I mean, what kind of guard is that? Who presents their bare ass to a dragon that can breathe fucking fire?! Do they just accept they're going to die anyway and figure they need one last show of defiance before they go down? I don't know, but it always makes me laugh. Sometimes I deliberately wait for them to go in the tents, just to see the badly graphic'd bums with the massive black indecipherable splodges of ass cracks dancing in my face.

3. The little critters you kill for health/butterflies. At first they start pretty normal - i.e; sheep and chickens - but as the game progresses they get steadily weirder and more creative to fit in with the levels. I also like that the enemies in the game can kill/interact with the critters, just like you can. Example: in Misty Bog, where the armoured guys have set wooden crate traps for the headless, wingless, featherless chickens - if you stand at a distance you can watch them catch them - and then go free them if you're feeling particularly charitable.

4. The silver ripples that trail behind you in flight levels when you fly just above the water.

5. The upside-down bulls in Town Square. If you charge them instead of flaming, they get stuck in the ground upside down on their horns, and stay there despite the fact it still gives you the gem. This makes no sense whatsoever since all the enemies in the game are actually gems that Gnasty Gnorc changed with a spell - therefore if you have the gem, the enemy no longer exists.

6. The blink-and-you'll-miss-it tempo change of the swingy lamp post sound. If you run past a lamp post at just the right angle - just brushing it, not stopping - it makes a slightly quicker noise than the one it makes if you just crash straight into it.

7. Beating one of those douchey green wizards at their own game. In Magic Crafters, a common enemy is a wizard dressed in green who manipulates the environment - most commonly, making sections of the floor rise up. They usually stand on their own when they do this, but in the home level, there's a wizard that has another enemy next to it-- one of those weird parrot-faced, armor-covered, staff-carrying... things. If you charge it and immediately still so you're stood right next to the green guy - you'll go up with him too when he raises the floor. The funny thing is, somehow he fails to notice you're actually up there with him, and points and laughs at you like they do when you're still down on the floor. It kind of fills you with a lovely warm, satisfied feeling when you flame that fucker's smug guffawing face and sink back down to earth.

8. The comedic enemies that can attack you but not inflict any actual damage. They really are there purely for entertainment value, since they can't actually hurt you - and the fact the game designers obviously had fun with it amuses me endlessly. My favourite is probably the huge fat women in red dresses with spoons in Cliff Town/Dr. Shemp, who deliver a cracking slap if you dare approach their beloved cauldrons full of... purple cabbage and faeces stew? (I don't know but that's what it looks like.) I also enjoy the belly-bouncing Gnorcs in Dark Hollow. The comical boinging sound when they bounce you backwards cracks me up every time.

9. That weird leap/gallop/diving thing Spyro does when you jump while charging.

10. The distinctive races/ethnicities of the dragons. The dragons of each world had their own distinct and recognizable appearance, style and demeanor. To me, that shows when a game designer is really into it - really putting a lot of thought into the building of a game's whole universe - and that is something I both like and respect. I also like that the appearances of the dragons match the theme/feel of their world-- the Dream Weavers are tall, long-eyed and whimsical, the Beast Makers are short, thick-horned and dark-humoured, the Peace Keepers are large, stocky and gruff.

meme; fiction favourites - kinks n' ting

2011-04-18T17:37:00.005+01:00

This is an LJ meme. It asks if you dig the following kinks and for your thoughts on troupes/plot devices that often appear in fiction. In other words: NONE OF THIS APPLIES TO MY REAL LIFE. In real life, I am a complete asexual amoeba that wouldn't dream of engaging in anything my filthy mind compels me to find hot when in fiction form. Just thought I should make that clear in case anybody a) got the wrong idea and tried to proposition me and b) called the police in an attempt to have me put on the sex offenders register.

Bondage, blindfolds, gagging?
Yes. Unf.

Slave, BDSM, S&M?
Mostly, yes. I'm not into anything too theatrical, i.e; whips and chains and dungeons, and I don't really get the appeal of being beaten up/insulted/forced to clean toilets with your mouth or whatever. Idk, all that caper just seems vaguely ridiculous to me. I do dig sex slavery in a big way, and a bit of rough and tumble can be smoking if done right - but for me, it's more about slaps to the face and hair-pulling and spanking than flogging and branding and kicks in the crotch. So I guess you could say I'm into the simplest, stripped-down version.

Pain?
Eh, it's not something I'm really into in any definitive sort of way, but often it accompanies activities/elements of D/s wherein I can find it kind of hot by proxy, if that makes sense.

Humiliation, shaming?
Yes, as long as it's not shaming someone's appearance/body/etc, and as long as there's no verbal insults (unless it's along the lines of "slut" and "whore", unf.)

Power exchange, dominance and submission?
Ohh yes, definitely. I adore all the ways this can play out - it's such a broad area and there's so many paths you can go down, so many possibilities. I especially love it if it's non-typical, i.e; the dom is the one who likes pain/getting fucked. Topping from the bottom ♥

Asphyxiation, breathplay, strangling?
Yes, but mostly just as a way of domming/controlling, or in conjunction with D/s.

Bloodplay?
Yes, though it's more of a fascination/aesthetic interest than a kink. Also: vampires and other supernatural creatures give it potential to be awesome.

Creatures, aliens?
...Yes. It took a while to admit it to myself, because discovering I find things like tentacle porn and semi-bestiality (read: werewolves) hot was a little "out there" even for me-- but eventually, like with so many kinks, I had to give in to it. And hey, admitting I'm apparently a filthy pervert was kinda liberating! It set me free! Tentacle porn ftw!

Mpreg?
Sort of. I tend to find the backstory a lot more interesting than the pregnancy itself-- (probably because, in real life, I have a serious squick about pregnancy/pregnant women) you know, the world-building around it and the explanation of just how this man is knocked up. There's also the potential for cuteness and domesticity, which I am a total sucker for - and the way it can play with traditional gender roles and reverse them - which is also something I'm a total sucker for. So to sum up: it's not something I enjoy for its own sake, but if it leads to other things I like then yes.

Bukkake, facials, comeshots?
Ohh yes. I have a real thing for wetmessyfilthy sex, and I especially love it if it's used as a part of D/s.

Slave!fic?
Yesssss. Mostly for all the awesome hurt/comfort opportunities. It's just so delicious and shmoop-y-- all the inner-conflict and anguish and people having LONGING FEELINGS for each other and overcoming adversity and fighting against an old oppressive society in order to have happy endings. \o/ And that's another thing: all the world-building that goes along with slave!fic. In the hands of a decent author it's absolutely divine, and my love for it is completely self-indulgent.

Age difference?
Again, not for its own sake - but it tends to go hand in hand with some of my favourite troupes and situations where somebody is in a position of power over the other, and there is shame and sneaking around and always the imminent danger of being caught out. Yummy.

Underage?
Nope. It's not a squick unless they're obscenely young (read: younger than a teenager) but it doesn't do anything for me, either.

Crossdressing, genderbending?
UNF, SO MUCH YES. I love any and all ways genderbending can be expressed, all the ways the traditional roles can be reversed (or discarded altogether!) and all the ways it translates into the bedroom. I am especially fond of femmey boys wearing panties/stockings/suspenders (the outline of a hard cock behind girly satin and lace = guhhhh) and pegging floats my boat like you wouldn't believe. Even more so if the people involved identify as straight/cisgendered and are just that comfortable/secure/awesome, because that kind of self-security/metaphorical middle finger to society is in itself hot. So much laaaaahv ♥

Voyeurism, exhibitionism?
Oh god yes.

Threesomes, moresomes, gangbangs?
Yessssss. I especially love it if it's about more than just sex - if all the people involved are in a relationship together/polyamorous - or if the fic is about a character in a relationship realizing they're in love with somebody else as well and all the drama/inner-conflict that would go along with that; slowly learning how not to be monogamous when previously that's all they've ever known. Fucking awesome.

Toys?
Yesss. So much yes.

Established relationships?
Yes yes yes. Especially if they're all domestic and lovey-dovey. Sure, fics about that crazy turbulent rollercoaster ride of meeting someone/getting to know them/getting together are awesome, but I also love fics that express that kind of comfortable, easy security that comes with already knowing someone really well. Mostly because it has serious potential for scorching hot sex where they know exactly what turns the other person on, but also just because it's so frickin' cute and ~lovely and fills you with a smoochy warm feeling when you read it. Man, I swear I'm not this much of a sap in real life.

Bodyswap?
Not really. I tend to keep getting too confused/muddled up about who's who to really get into the story, and the weirdness of it prevents me from finding the porn properly hot, I'm afraid.

Genderswap?
Fuck yes. Especially if the author really takes the time to delve in to it - to really explore the implications and what it would mean for a character to suddenly be flung into a body of the opposite sex. It taps in to my love for fucking with boundaries and gender so much that really, whichever way an author goes about a genderswap fic - plotty or porny - chances are I'm probably going to love the shit out of it.

Dubcon?
In general yes, though it does depend on the circumstances. There has to be at least a sense of willing - however it gets there - otherwise it goes from being fucked-up-in-the-good-way to just plain squicky. So sex pollen/drugging? Yes. Aliens made them do it? Yes. Stoned/drunk? Yes. I think the line is when somebody actively, physically and mentally does not want to participate at that precise moment in time - but usually with dubcon-type fics there's at least a hint at an undercurrent of secret desire anyway, and luckily I have yet to see that happen.

Noncon?
No.

Incest?
Siblings, yes. Every other family relationship, no. And again, it's not really something I enjoy for its own sake. I have to already be invested in the characters singularly and find their relationship and dynamics interesting.

Selfcest?
Not really, for the same reasons as bodyswap.

Death?
As in snuff? No. In terms of it as a plot, I can love me some angsty death!fic if it's really well-written and deals with the topic thoroughly and maturely.

Violence, torture?
Sort of. Physical torture as in Saw or Hostel = NO FUCKING THANK YOU, but mental torture? Mindfucking and emotional trauma? I lap that shit up like a cat at a bowl of milk. Not so much as a kink (unless it's combined with something else I find hot) but just as a plot or storyline - because when it's really well-written? It is so fucking good. As for violence, that's a rather broad ballpark - but in general, it's also a "sort of". I love me some hate!sex, and fighting that leads to fucking is a total guhhhh, but as a plot or storyline it's not really something I have a preference on. If the story calls for it, sure.

Watersports, scat?
I think this is about the only kink I can absolutely, categorically say NO, NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES to. Seriously, total squick and I will never understand the appeal.

Crossovers?
Nope. The clash of fandoms tends to weird me out.

Unhappy endings, wide-open endings?
I can deal with both if I feel like they're appropriate/the story called for it/things just had to be that way, but mostly I like firm resolution and happily ever afters. Sue me, I'm a romantic. \o/

picspam; boys with boys ♥

2011-03-30T09:39:00.004+01:00

"What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street - but the human heart, oh no, it's curved like a road through mountains."
- Tennessee Williams

"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?"
- Ernest Gaines

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth."
- Benjamin Disraeli

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: 'Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'"
- Robin Tyler

"The diagnosis of homosexuality as a "disorder" is a contributing factor to the pathology of those homosexuals who do become mentally ill... Nothing is more likely to make you sick than being constantly told that you are sick."
- Ronald Gold

"The important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself."
- Gore Vidal

"There's this illusion that homosexuals have sex and heterosexuals fall in love. That's completely untrue. Everybody wants to be loved."
- Boy George

"No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody."
- Rita Mae Brown

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss

"It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain."
- Francis Maude

"Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality."
- James Baldwin

meme; quote yourself

2011-02-08T14:11:00.008Z

Go back through your twitter entires as far as you have the patience for. Read from then until now, picking out your favourite tweets as you go.

Note: They should be things YOU have said, and not RT's/links/quotes from others/etc. Try and concentrate on thoughts, feelings and opinions. Which tweets are you proud to have your name attached to? What words of wisdom would you like the world to remember you for? Post them here and help write your page in history.

"Pfft, opposite sex is like, soooooo last season."

"Alex Rayner: Breaking gender/sexuality stereotypes since 2007."

"I'd rather be hated than invisible. I'd rather be weird than boring. I'd rather be a freak than ordinary. I pity anyone who thinks otherwise."

"I saw an advert for Joseph And His Technicolor Dreamcoat, or whatever the fuck it's called. It had a rainbow flag. Does that mean homosexuality is Christianity approved?"

"I'm not mysterious, you just haven't asked me the right questions."

"New Moon as a film? Ugh, DNW. At least with the book it alleviated the worry about how I'd cope during a national shortage of toilet paper."

"What is it with people continually mistaking me for someone who gives a fuck?"

"I just fell on my fucking guitar. I now have 3 perfectly straight gashes in my right knee. Must have landed on a sharp chord."

"Whoever said 'you can't have it both ways' were full of donkey shit and whale bollocks. 'Simultaneously' is the very NATURE of humanity."

"Isn't 'Ambi-Pur' just an expensive version of 'opening a window'?"

"My biological sex doesn't define me. If you like me, you like what's in my brain, and that has nothing to do with what's between my legs."

"Few things are as frustrating as people who have no idea how amazing they are."

"I just had an Indian. The takeaway food, that is. I didn't catch somebody from India and cook them."

"I can't be the only one who thinks 'Sex On Fire' is a reference to thrush. Maybe herpes. Some form of genital rash/irritation, anyway."

"I'm having a love affair with a boy who lives in my Nintendo DS. Awesome."

"My soul aches just looking at you."

"Things I learned from Pokemon, The 1st Movie: Vikings live in Minnesota, hand-to-hand combat is PURE EVIL but blasting the shit out of each other with fire/water/great huge energy balls is A-OKAY, and a 7" 460 pound Dragonite can be stopped with just a frying pan."

"That concludes the Alex Rayner seminar on essential tips for an awesomely lazy life. I will be here all week, be sure to tip your pimp."

"They say the seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake, but I disagree. My seaweed is a rather splendid display of lush green tendrils, thank you very much."

"Friendship is not inferior to sexual relationships. You think because you stick your penis in something it's more meaningful? Fuck off."

"There are few pleasures in this world that can match the awesomeness of having a freshly fully-stocked fridge."

"Tapes that play "relaxing/soothing" sounds have it wrong. Fuck whale song and wind chimes, just buy yourself a cat with a nice loud purr."

"God can't help you. Only you can."

"Top places to think philosophical thoughts: in bed, whilst waiting for/on public transport, and on the toilet."

"Watch out gaiz, I'm on my period! I'm totally moody and hormonal! Better get me some chocolate and a romcom, huhuh!"

"Why does anybody even bother with sex when chocolate truffle exists?"

"It's a sad state of affairs when having intelligence, common sense and a strong sense of self is considered "crazy"."

"God demands you must switch to double-thick extra-soft strong and long toilet roll, or else you will go to hell!"

"Why are people so determined to keep everyone exactly the same? Individuality: embrace it."

"I want to die by suffocation at the trunk of an elephant, just so I can have 'hugged to death by an elephant' on my tombstone."

"I'm the salmon that stayed downstream."

"Ooh, a new message from Jacob Embry! ...Who the fuck is Jacob Embry?"

"I found a way to make FPS's interesting. Pretend to be an old man masturbating over the microphone line. Poor little 12 year olds."

"Being good-looking doesn't necessarily make you attractive."

"Favourite Spyro 2 level of all time = Zephyr. Little Bo Peep has lost his cowleks. Grow some beanstalks, motherfucker."

"Seriously though, bidets are awesome. It's like a spa treatment for your bumhole."

"I just burped perfectly in time to the beat of the music I'm listening to. It's the little things in life that make me the happiest."

"There's something profoundly poetic about self-destruction. It's a coward's wet dream."

"I am not a chick in a bad fucking horror film. I am not going to go and investigate the strange shadows in a dark garage."

"Fuck you, I'm disguised in a blessing."

"Want an instant no-bullshit way to find out somebody's intelligence/taste levels? Ask them if they like Twilight."

"'Ugliness' only exists on the inside."

"Nothing's more dangerous than a pissed-off person with nothing to lose."

"My suicide note would have no melodramatic shit. It would simply say; 'This is no one's fault, I'm just too lazy for this shit. Cya!'"

-- © Alex Rayner.

meme; 100 favourite things

2011-01-24T05:16:00.001Z

List 100 of your favourite things. They can be anything; foods, sounds, people, even every-day occurances - as long as they put a smile on your face. And next time you're having a bad day, or wondering just why life sucks so hard, you can return to your list to remind yourself there are some things worth living for.

FYI, these aren't in order.

1. Long stripy socks
2. Feeling clean after a shower
3. Getting packages/letters in the mail
4. Nail varnish
5. A perfectly rolled joint
6. Small cute furry critters
7. Freshly washed bedding
8. Boxer shorts
9. Takeaway food
10. Kigurumis
11. Playing a multiplayer video game with friends
12. Tuning a guitar by ear
13. Laughing until I can't stand up
14. The feel of grass under bare feet
15. Dark/smokey eyeshadow & eyeliner
16. Piercings/getting pierced
17. Script, symbol and black & white tattoos
18. Retro wallpaper
19. Curtis's Rainbow Slices
20. Vintage photography
21. Slobbery canine kisses
22. Loose muscles after a good stretch
23. Getting ready for a night out
24. Preparing a meal (more even than eating the meal itself)
25. Riding around mindlessly in a car with friends
26. Huge soft oversized hoodies
27. Going to bed with the early morning light shining around the edges of the blind
28. Running outside in the pouring rain
29. Rollercoasters & theme parks
30. Grunge-era fashion
31. Moshpits
32. Really really dark chocolate, at least 70% cocoa
33. Milkshakes
34. Large stuffed animals
35. Typing and the clicks of keys
36. The feel of a cat rubbing around my legs
37. Smoking a cigarette after a long period without
38. A freshly fully-stocked fridge
39. The "click-shhh" noise of opening a can
40. Finding money in my pockets I forgot I had
41. Feeding the ducks
42. The novelty/satisfaction of wearing a new item of clothing for the first time
43. Falling asleep to the sound of traffic
44. Cheese
45. The crunching sound/feeling of walking on snow
46. Singing
47. Trampolining
48. Frosty/cold days where the sun is still shining
49. Cats with loud persistant purrs
50. The feeling of satisfaction after I've organized my computer/bedroom
51. Crafted clothes
52. Finally getting a food I've been craving for days
53. Dancing
54. Finally finding a solution to a problem I was at the end of my rope with
55. Being nocturnal
56. Coffee
57. Proving people wrong
58. Blowing/making bubbles
59. Good hair/make-up days
60. Gay erotica
61. Finally finishing a piece of writing I've had in the works for months
62. The way your hair feels underwater
63. Original Source shower gel
64. The night sky
65. The smell of smoke from blown-out candles/matches
66. Fuel For Life (fragrance by Diesel)
67. Being flexible
68. Luke's songs he makes up on the spot on MSN mic
69. Thinking of the perfect response to somebody being a tool
70. Zippo lighters
71. Aquariums
72. Playing/hiding in cornfields
73. Shot glasses
74. Being moved to tears
75. Suddenly remembering I have something recorded on Sky+ to watch
76. Pillow talk
77. Climbing trees
78. Keychain charm figurines from 1 pound machines
79. Tents
80. The original 151 Pokemon
81. Tarantino movies
82. Japan, especially Tokyo
83. Insense sticks
84. Writing in condensation
85. Fingerless gloves
86. Instant noodles
87. Collecting clothes labels/tags
88. Cosy, kind-of-ridiculous winter bobble hats
89. Posters on the ceiling
90. Group IM convos
91. Holding a frog on my palm
92. Fizzy drinks - Coke, Tango, Fanta, Dr. Pepper, Tizer, Sprite, etc
93. My DDR arcade-style metal dance pad
93. Tunnels and plugs
94. Moths hanging out in my lampshade
95. Gerard Way
96. Dobermans
97. Big cats
98. Red/pink sunsets
99. Being a 90's kid
100. Frances Whitcher

picspam; gway ♥

2010-12-31T05:44:00.007Z

I'm in a Gerard kind of mood recently. Then again, when am I not?

...Whatever, have a picspam. x

"If for one minute you think you're better than a sixteen year-old girl in a Green Day t-shirt, you are sorely mistaken. Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favourite band? You wore their shirt, you sang every word. You didn't know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that that music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. That's what music is about."

"Look at me, with my pretty bracelet and tiara-- I'm a fuckin' princess!"

"It's with the most noble intentions. It's to make certain people realise just because somebody is a performer or slightly effeminate-- even that guy at work or that kid at school-- there's no reason to shove 'em around. So much testosterone has been in rock for so long, that's why I'm so interested in pushing it. All it boils down to is treating women like second-class citizens, calling people faggots, being borderline racist - if not totally racist. A lot of things are ingrained in the stupidest rock 'n' roll we completely oppose. So one way we can push it is through our sexuality."

"For me, being onstage is me being everything I always wanted to be. It erases everything I don't like about myself. Nothing can hurt me. I feel completely invincible. I feel like everyone on that stage is invincible and we're capable of anything. There's no stopping us."

"It takes a while to tell stories. I think it's because I was drunk for three years."

"I went to art school in drag and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. You should see me as a chick. I went as a girl, as like, an experiment - and it worked really well - everyone was really nice to me, but I couldn't talk obviously. You know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute... I looked hot as a chick!"

"There's definitely a trashy, x-rated vibe to our live set. It's mainly to put off homophobes, but it's also because as seriously as you take this, you can't take yourself that seriously. So it's like aggressive, softcore gay porn. There's a little man love, maybe some smooching, definitely some crotch grabbing. I totally used to fuck the monitors."

"I'm a total sellout-- I own four pairs of pants."

"When we first started out I had a really big issue and a lot of my loved ones did too with the fact that I was totally in pain up there. There was a time when I tried to hurt myself off-stage, but I got over that. Like, you should never want to hurt yourself. You should love yourself."

"Welcome to the new church! Can I get an 'Amen'?"

"You're going to come across a lot of shitty bands, and a lot of shitty people. And if any one of those people call you names because of what you look like, or because they don’t accept you for who you are - I want you to look right at that motherfucker, stick up your middle finger, and scream, 'FUCK YOU'!"

"If you come to one of our shows, you're a little fucked up. That's okay - we're just as fucked up as you."

"There was an extremely macho vibe in that crowd, and we were practically the biggest cupcakes on that tour - but they seemed to love it. I think they just needed a little razzle-dazzle in their lives."

"Surrounding myself with fans makes me feel like I'm not going through it alone."

"Cigarettes and coffee-- an alcoholic's best friends!"

"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person. I think that that is going to be a lot of what the next record is about, not to plug it or anything. Like, it’s going to talk about dying and coming back to become what you want to become. We are all becoming what we want to become."

"I got sunburnt, which is obviously a drag for me because in theory the sun is supposed to kill me."

"Be yourself, don't take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive."

Dear God, I love this man an insane amount. ♥

meme; psychological wordsearch

2010-12-27T01:05:00.004Z

Our psychological state allows us to see only what we want/need/feel to see at a particular time.

What 6 words do you see?

Okay, so while I can see absolutely loads of words in there, these are the first 6 my mind jumped to:

- Passion
- Cock
- Pasta
- Good
- Scum
- Pogo

...Lol. I'm not entirely sure what my subconscious is trying to tell me with that?

picspam; xmas '10!

2010-12-25T17:35:00.010Z

Okay, so despite my exasperation with the faff of the "holiday season", I don't actually have a problem with the event itself. I mean, when it really comes down to it, it's just a roast dinner with relatives, and that is not a strange occurance at my house. The only difference is the presents, (and eating with the fancy silverware too, I guess) and I definitely don't have a problem with presents. ;) I didn't even have to go through the ordeal of opening them in front of everyone and pretending to like the hideous shit, because this year, I made an Amazon Wishlist, and therefore knew what I was getting. Best thing I ever did, seriously.

So, picspam time! I can't wait to show you my haul, but first, here are a few I took during dinner:

The table. Gotta admit, I thought it was pretty.

My place setting card. I love these little figurines.

Veggies!

Dad in "Manly Carving Mode".

Yes, unfortunately I am related to this boy.

Tom had Christmas Dinner too!

And now for MY HAUL! I'll show you my new clothes first, all of which are from my favourite label, Crafted: <3333

Charcoal grey military coat. Laaaahv!

Tie-dye harem pants! I love these, they're so comfy.

Embracing my freakiness, ftw. ;)

I think this is my favourite. Rawr! <3333333

Studded leather waistcoat. Nom.

Slitted leggings! Can't wait until it's warm enough to wear these out.

Waterfall jacket. Yummy.

Acid wash Rockstar tee!

I don't think I've ever been this happy with my wardrobe. <3

I also got two necklaces:

And of course, some chocolate:

NOMNOMNOM SUPER DARK CHOCOLATE. <3333

So, that's my 2010 haul. I hope you all got what you wanted, too! xo

repost; top 10 bigoted statements on gay marriage

2010-12-18T23:01:00.000Z

1. Being Gay Is Not Natural
And real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, air conditioning, tattoos, piercings and silicon breasts.

2. Gay Marriage Will Encourage People To Be Gay
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Open The Door To All Kinds Of Crazy Behavior
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Lamps are next.

4. Straight Marriage Has Been Around A Long Time And Hasn't Changed At All
Hence why women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight Marriage Will Be Less Meaningful If Gay Marriage Were Allowed
And we can't let the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.

6. Straight Marriages Are Valid Because They Produce Children
So therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our population isn't out of control, our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously Gay Parents Will Raise Gay Children
Since, of course, straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay Marriage Is Not Supported By Religion
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children Can Never Succeed Without A Male And A Female Role Model
Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay Marriage Will Change The Foundation Of Society; We Could Never Adapt To New Social Norms
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

meme; top 10 celebrity "in-theory" fucks!

2010-12-17T00:48:00.002Z

(1) List 10 celebrities you would have sex with without even asking questions.
(2) Put all of them in order of your lust for them. (1 is the hottest.)
(3) Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
(4) Supply photos.

...Okay, since the asexual thing means I don't feel the desire to, y'know, actually fuck people; this is going to be judged on how awesome and attractive people are rather than how much I find them sexually appealing. Sort of like, who I would fuck in theory, if I did feel sexual attraction.

_________________________________________________________________

#10
Tré Cool
Green Day

Honestly? He’s just completely fucking insane. Forever messing around and taking the piss - be it in interviews or his own band's DVD - I actually don’t think I’ve ever heard a single serious word come out of his mouth. The question is, why do I find that so attractive? I mean, I’m not exactly a stranger to silliness, immaturity and hyper shenanigans, myself. But damn, compared to Tre, I’m an amateur. He's taken it one step further-- he’s made it a lifestyle, a state of being, almost. Like he literally, physically isn’t capable of behaving any other way. And in a world full of overly pretentious rock stars all too willing to talk bollocks at the slightest provocation, the fact somebody in one of the biggest bands in the world is so down-to-earth he just doesn't give a fuck about anything other than having a laugh is immensely appealing and weirdly admirable.

Gotta admit, physically he doesn’t do much for me, hence why he’s only number 10-- but anyone that can work me up to an almost pants-wetting stage of hysterics is automatically attractive enough to crush on.

#9
Johnny Depp

The first real “crush” I ever had, hah. Obviously gorgeous - but he's also exceptionally talented, and just a genuinely nice guy. My main admiration of him comes from his attitude towards his films and the roles he'll take on, though. I really admire his decision to only accept roles that personally interest him, as opposed to roles that will pay millions and put him on the A-list.

Of course, he's a lot more well-known now thanks to Pirates of the Caribbean, but even before that his attitude was still one of accepting roles he personally liked, and he's turned down some big offers - hence the reason he's ended up playing so many quirky, obscure roles (Edward Scissorhands, anyone?). I have a lot of respect for anyone determined to stay true to themselves the way he did - disregarding fortune and fame in favor of enjoying what they do. He's just awesome.

#8
Lady GaGa

A slightly strange one for me - since physically she's not my type at all - but mentally? Fuck yeah. This woman is just pure concentrated awesome. Everything she stands for could be my own personal fucking bible-- equality, gay rights, being yourself, challenging stupid stereotypes and sexism... just, love. I love that she wears whatever she likes, does things her own way, shunning all that "Hollywood" bullshit without a second's thought as to what people think of her. I admire the shit out of her - her talent, her passion, her fucking awesome figure (it had to be said!) her promotion of individuality and sexual fluidity - just UGGGH, YES PLEEEASE.

And the music, can we talk about the music? It's funky and catchy, tells a story without being pretentious, is beaty and good to dance to while at the same time, there's something more - something deeper beneath the surface. I've never seen another pop star pull that off as well she does. She is, without a doubt, the best solo artist in existence today, and easily my favourite solo artist ever. I shall forever be a dedicated and loyal little monster.

#7
Lyn-Z-Ann Ballato (Way)
Mindless Self Indulgence

This chiiiiick! She's feisty, fun and ballsy, has amazing stage presence and owns a smile that just melts you into a giant puddle of goo. My admiration of her comes mainly from her fierce feminism; how she - rightfully so - gets pissed off when people act like marrying the lead singer of a famous band makes you not entitled to your own identity, protesting that it's insulting to her because it belittles all the hard work she's done to get herself recognized as her own person. PREACH IT, SISTA! There's very little I love more than strong, headstrong women.

On a more shallow level, she's one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen in my life. She just has that aura about her, that unspoken attitude. I absolutely love that she has a reputation for jumping off ridiculously high things on stage, crowd-surfing and of course, her legendary backbends. I love that at one point she got so out of control that she actually severely hurt herself (a collapsed lung!). Well, okay, I don't love that she hurt herself, but you know what I mean-- it's just that unreserved, utterly pure passion for what she does, strong enough that she'd disregard even her own personal safety in the name of putting on an awesome show and having the time of her life. I respect the fuck out of that. I admire it more than words can express. I FUCKIN' LOVE IT. She's just everything I love in a bandgirl and given half the chance I'd probably lick the post-show sweat from her cleavage, asexuality be damned.

#6
Brody Dalle
The Distillers, Spinnerette

I seriously adore this woman. If there's one thing I love about real bandgirls, it's the way they're not afraid to drown themselves in things usually considered 'boyish' - like guitar playing and sleeve tattoos and mowhawk hair, and yet still manage to retain their femininity. For me, that is definitely where the largest chunk of her (in-theory) sex appeal comes from. The dark hair, pouty lips and curviness (really appealing to someone like me, who despises this stupid trend of celebs trying desperately to be stick-thin) also helps, but honestly my admiration of her mainly comes from the way she isn't afraid to be her own person.

Her singing voice seals the deal; deep, kind of hoarse, but above all, DISTINCTIVE. For me, a unique, recognizable voice is what draws me towards bands and vocalists -and on a woman, even more so - since it's so much rarer. She's just the real deal-- what every aspiring female rock/punk/alternative musician should dream of being. It was a hard decision to put her at only number 6, but what can I say - so many awesome people to get through!

#5
Mikey Way
My Chemical Romance

This boy is awesome in a way not many people can pull off-- the “blink-and-you-might-miss-it” kinda way. On the outside, he’s stoic and quiet, and next to his more, shall we say, exuberant bandmates, you’d be forgiven for thinking him a little, dare I say it… boring. Dull. Unremarkable. But maaaaan, you’d be wronger than wrong. Because if you listen to him the rare times he does speak, you’ll see he’s actually incredibly intelligent, articulate and witty, with a dry, subtly clever sense of humor. He’s a rare breed of person - the kind that don’t clamor for attention, who are happy to sit back and let others lead - but not because they’re devoid of personality or character themselves. He’s one of those people who you don’t really expect much from at first, and then one day they open their mouth and you’re just left reeling, like, wait, where the fuck did that come from?

And idk, I guess I just find that kinda fascinating. As well as the fact he’s really, really hot in a way I can’t quite put my finger on, since skinny guys don’t usually do it for me. Maybe it’s just our shared affinity for awesome boots. ;)

#4
Kate Moennig

This girl is the reason I started to watch The L Word. To me, there's nothing hotter than androgyny, and this woman is the actual Queen of it: the grungey aesthetic, the sexy deep voice, the dismissal of restrictive gender archetypes, favoring the simplicity of men's clothes, her wonderfully distinctive style, that whole boyish, rock-star type look… Seriously, I can't decide which I want more - to take her home with me, or to be her.

Add to all that the fact if my taste in female aesthetics were manifest in a person, it would literally be her-- the messy dark hair, bone structure to die for, pouty lips, gorgeous hands, hot muscled arms and hipbones I just want to bite - and you've got my ultimate female crush. Omfuckingnom.

#3
Brian Molko
Placebo

Oh God, where do I even start with this guy? If it wasn't obvious before that I have a definite type, allow me to illustrate it now with the list of traits this dude embodies; androgynous, sexually ambiguous, gener-role-disregarding, makeup-wearing, soulful, passionate, articulate, emotional, smart, honest and of course, we can't forget the pretty. Because oh my fuck, THE PRETTY. *drools*

And then, if all that wasn't enough, there's his voice. I mean, have you heard that shit? I think I can safely say it is absolutely, 100% unique. I have never heard anything like it before or since Placebo. I just adore the tone of it-- that kind of drag it has, and the way he sounds effeminate but still totally like a dude at the same time. As I have now said REPEATEDLY - little gets my attention more, as far as vocalists and bands go - than distinctive and unique. And Brain/Placebo is pretty much the epitome of that - quirky and unusual, all weird song structure and trippy, metaphorical lyrics... just. rkjhgfdsdfghj;sthy.

#2
Frank Iero
My Chemical Romance, LeEATHERMOUTH

Now, it has gotten to the point where, whenever Frank is involved, I just gurgle incoherently and make porn noises. I’m not sure it’s even possible to textually render his awesome, so perhaps I should get the ball rolling with a few visuals, instead:

FNNNNNNNGGHHH

SERIOUSLY.

FRANK'S PORNFACE: THE EXPRESSION THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND FANGIRLS' WET DREAMS.

...yeah. You get the point: he's really, really, really, really, really hot. And while I maintain that is totally and completely irrelevant compared to the other, not-so-shallow reasons I find him so hideously attractive, I still feel it's necessary to point it out. ...y'know, for Science. And also since he's the only guy I've seen who's mastered looking both cute in the pretty-boy sort of way and yet totally hot in the masculine-sexy sort of way. That takes some serious skills, yo.

But all hotassness aside, let us not neglect the truly great things about Mr. Iero. Because first and foremost, this guy is a giant dork. Seriously, he's endearing and adorable like no other. (Except maybe my #1, but we'll get to them in a moment!) This is mainly because he makes such an effort to appear the exact opposite of endearing and adorable - with his hilarious trolling of Twitter and TOTALLY HARDCORE LYRICS ABOUT BURNING DOWN GIRLS' HOUSES, OKAY (HE'S AN ANGSTY TORMENTED BALL OF RAAAAAGE DAMMNIT) but since all of this is undermined by the sheer amount of decidedly NOT-MACHO shenanigans, silly antics, fangirling of ~~Gerard~~ his own band and giggling - seriously, fucking GIGGLING - that he does on a daily basis, it kind of... doesn't work. And the fact he still tries to be threatening, and is so earnest about trying even though he fails, is endearing in itself. Poor Frank, he's just trapped in an endless cycle of endearing adorableness. Lol.

But all good-natured mocking aside, we return once again to my core trait loves; passion, determination, that single-minded desire to do what he loves. If I could refer your attention back to the pictures above, it will become rather obvious just how, um - enthusiastic Frank is about being in a band. I don't really have to say anything else, just love. And maybe also UNF, because, yeah. Seriously.

...BUT TOTALLY NOT SHALLOW! NOPE! Because to become that writhing, sweaty, manic, tiny (5 foot 4!) rhythm guitarist of sex in the first place, he (along with the rest of the band) had to work his fucking heart out. I hope I don't need to stress, at this point, how much that kind of striving to fulfill your dream earns my respect. And now that they have, they live it to the absolute fullest. They put on a fucking show, every time. It's admirable, it's awesome, and I dig it so hard.

And of course, he couldn't be my number 2 with a half-assed personality. Prejudice-hating and homophobe-shunning - deliberately going out of his way to piss them off, even (making out with his lead singer onstage, wearing a shirt that says 'homophobia is gay' …yeah, srsly), not afraid to be himself, not giving a fuck what other people think... blah blah blah. Pretty sure you get the idea by now, right? ;)

Oh, and then there’s this:

He loves dogs. Seriously, he has practically a whole harem of them. *_________* Yeah, I'm done. Let us finally move on to my number one, in all his deliciously campy glory:

#1
Gerard Way
My Chemical Romance

Okay, in the interest of full discretion - this is ~~probably~~ definitely going to get flaily, rambly and totally tl;dr. Please don’t judge me too harshly. /o\

Alright, whatever, we all knew it was coming-- I'm just going to get it out of the way so it doesn't interfere later; HOT. HOT LIKE BURNING. If Kate is the literal definition of my taste in female looks, Gerard is the male counterpart. Bone structure that God no doubt gave himself a severe pat on the back for, dark messy hair, that cute fucking pixie nose, adorable dorky smile, pale skin, gorgeous eyes, THOSE FUCKING HANDS (WHAT? I HAVE A FETISH OKAY), endless neck, quirky features, perfect eyebrows, GIRLY-AS-FUCK EYELASHES, chiseled jawline… He's just that perfect combination of femmey-but-still-somehow-masculine, if that makes sense.

But! The fact I find him really, really, really (really) physically attractive is actually highly inconsequential to the other reasons why he's so awesome. The biggest chunk of my love for him comes from his attitudes towards life; his hate for homophobes, sexists, prejudice and injustice, and his theatrical, operatic, almost messianic approach to making music. Oh, you knew this was coming too, I'm sure - but seriously, you haven't even scratched the surface of passion and dedication (I REALLY NEED NEW FUCKING WORDS) until you know about this dude. From the very beginning his attitude has always been about the message, the vision-- he's said it himself (many, many times, almost to the point where just how damn earnest and honest he is about it becomes kind of pretentious and annoying, but shhh) this band wants to save your life. Hell, it even saved his own life - being the incentive he needed to get clean, channeling his addictions and depression and just generally all of the shitty things in his life into this soul-lifting, touching, relatable, fucking overwhelmingly awesome music. What can I say? Tortured (well, ex-tortured) souls make me go a big slobbery one.

And then there's just the fact he's such a ridiculously adorable endearing dork. Sometimes he suffers from Frank syndrome (see: "I Don't Love You" music video - HIS ANGST AND PAIN IS REEEEEAL DAMMNIT - HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT HIS TTLY SRS BZNS EMOTING), sometimes he writes words like 'Faggot' and 'Gazelle' on his neck and various parts of his body, and sometimes he actually has a shower. Lol. He's an artist and a total comic book nerd, dyes his hair a lot, forces the other band members to wear increasingly ludicrous uniforms, frequently smothers himself in layers, ridiculous flamboyant makeup, half-dilapidated boots and dirty denim jackets (he calls himself a "jacket slut," GWAY WHAT IS YOUR EVERYTHING?) and to top it all off, his fucking voice. Distinctive, rough, recognizable and completely awesome-- yeah, I'm gone.

Also, it doesn't really need to be said, since I've referenced the band's on-stage persona already with Frank-- but this dude's stage presence? UM, YOU DIDN'T REALLY NEED THAT BRAIN, DID YOU? Because it's about to melt out your fuckin' EARS. Seriously, NO ONE can own a stage like GWay can. He's said it himself - when he's up there, he's an entirely different person - cocky, extravagant and sometimes downright obscene. He interacts with the audience, taunts them, eggs them on, flips them off. He preaches and rallies and delivers great inspiring thundering speeches that make you want to scream until your lungs are sore. He dances and prances, shakes and shimmies and saunters and sashays and just generally floods the whole place with his dazzling concentrated fabulousness.

And then there's the gay. UGH GOD, THE GAY. He humps ~~Frank~~ speakers and various other stage equipment, sometimes he gropes and feels ~~Frank~~ himself up, sometimes he even moans and makes porn noises ~~at Frank~~ --all things WE REALLY APPRECIATE, THANKS GWAY!

OBSERVE:

FIERCE

NNGGGGGHHH NECK

FOR ALL YOU HATERZZZZ

LOL

asdfghjkl;lkjhgf LEGS

HIS FUCKING NECK, YOU GUYS

~~OH NO HOW DID THIS GET IN HERE?~~

I JUST. THERE ARE NO WORDS.

*__________*
Idek, you guys. Just, to me, this guy is perfection. He's beautiful, inside and out. An utterly ridiculous, brilliant, hilarious, admirable, artistic, dorky, adorable, inspiring, captivating, creative, fabulous, drop-dead gorgeous, exceptionally talented odd little squid of a man and easily my number 1 celebrity fuck. In theory.

_________________________________________________________________

So, that's it. My top 10 celebrity “in-theory” fucks. This was technically a LJ meme, but I was just in the mood to rant on about the awesome famous people I admire. Feel free to repost and do it yourself. :)
xo